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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749456">Everything Is Peaches But The Cream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF'>PepperF</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Diego whump [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, I don't know whether to be sorry or proud, I will hurt him lots more than this, Prompt no 1. LET’S HANG OUT SOMETIME | Shackled, Starting small, Whumptober 2020, anyhow YAY NEW FANDOM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:00:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749456</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Diego shook off the last of the dizziness as he watched the red taillights bouncing off down the uneven road. He could hear an excited whoop drift back to him, over the roar of the engine. Dammit. He’d really liked that car, too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Diego whump [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everything Is Peaches But The Cream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am doing Whumptober! And it is going to be All About Diego. Sorry Diego.</p><p>I'm starting small, a mere 300-ish words, but be - warned? happy? idk - that this is absolutely the shortest fic of the bunch. I'm out of practice and this is a new fandom for me, so be gentle. It'll get better, I promise. ;)</p><p>And my always and eternal thanks to the most wonderful beta in the world, Bethany. xxx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Diego shook off the last of the dizziness as he watched the red taillights bouncing off down the uneven road. He could hear an excited whoop drift back to him, over the roar of the engine.</p><p>Dammit. He’d really liked that car, too.</p><p>He tugged experimentally at the handcuffs that shackled him to the chain-link fence. They were pink and fluffy on the outside, and absolutely professional underneath. Still, they wouldn’t be an obstacle - if he had anything to pick the lock. But all he could see were rocks and scrubby twigs, and Lila’d taken all his remaining knives, along with his wallet, keys, and boots. He poked at the ground with his bare toes, failing to unearth anything useful, like a soda can tab or a fully-equipped lockpicking kit. </p><p>Sinking down into a crouch, he gazed up at the night sky, looming magnificently over the ugly motel. There was a good view of the stars out here in deepest Mississippi, and if he’d ever followed that line of studies, back at the Academy, maybe he’d be able to name a few constellations. It was peaceful now that all the shouting and violence was over. He could hear the sounds of wildlife, insects and shit. There was a gentle breeze. It might even be nice, if he wasn’t <i>handcuffed to a fucking fence.</i></p><p>He noticed three things at the same time: the distant wail of approaching police sirens, his boots tucked neatly under a nearby bush, and the massive bloodstain on the floor outside the room they’d rented. It was shaped like an arrow, and it pointed helpfully - from the point of view of a rural police department looking for a person of color to blame - straight at him.</p><p>Diego sighed, and rose smoothly to his feet.</p><p>Time to play Which Will Break First: Cuffs, Fence, or Wrist?</p>
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